Feeling down...
I have decided to write this post to get a few things off my chest. I usually use my posts to connect, share and gain opinions on matters however this time i have decided to change it up a bit.
Since my diagnosis of ASD, i don't feel like i have had a chance to sit down and think things through. You see, I am the type of person that likes to keep myself busy and make use of every day; which has led me to ignore what i am actually feeling. I haven't really thought about my diagnosis too much and i guess i have been in denial.
I flew to America on my own a few days after my diagnosis to visit family and the hustle and bustle of Christmas and new year meant i didn't get time to think things through. Then as soon as i got home i was straight into exams and university again. Since then i feel like i haven't stopped to have a chat with myself. You know those chats you sometimes with yourself, those daily pick me ups that just keep you going? Well i have been lacking those lately. I think everything has built up in the back of my mind and now i feel like all my emotions are flooding out at once (literally as i cant stop crying lately haha).
So.. now that university has ended i feel like i no longer have something to focus on everyday and i have began to find myself in a dark place. Only now have i started truly thinking about my diagnosis and how having autism pinned on me for the rest of my life could affect me. I think i may have always felt down about my diagnosis, but with my strict schedule and rushed routine i was able to just out it to the back of my mind and pretend to myself that i was okay.
Some days are good lately and i am able to see that being on the spectrum is just a part of who i am, however some days i can only see the negative sides of the diagnosis and how draining it can be feeling "different".
Have any of you ever felt this way? Will i always have this at the back of my mind or will i overcome this?
I hope this makes sense, hopefully someone knows what i mean by this and can give me some advice. Thanks for taking the time to read my blog :-)
Ignore your diagnosis! Everyone gets diagnosed with something today. Everyone is different and there is no middle. The more you blend in, the more you lose yourself. Forget that stupid diagnosis, it is a way to quiet the artist, they switch that R for a U, but U R STILL THE SAME! U R U an artist. Think for yourself and ignore labels! Yours and others. And cheers! This means you have the capability to see further.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment, its really inspired me to feel better about the situation. Do you have a blog? If you do id love to read it and if you don't you should definitely consider it as your comment really helped me. Thanks for taking the time to read my post :-)
ReplyDeleteKarla Mcguckin There may not be a a medical cure , understanding of yours, other identical diagnosis , others,
ReplyDeleteBut there is a phylogical psychiatruc understanding of what you have , why , it is the same with those that have identical to what you have both emotional , mental issues , more.
Thus the understanding of yours is more emotional , phylogical from within you , its more common then you may think.
yours ties in with the mediphorical space bubble,of who you allow close to you , who you do not allow close to you in the emotional physical manner, with the fact if at all you jump or not if someone touches you without you noticeing that the person or persons are behind you trying to get your attention , to talk with you.
If there is any actual true medication for this diagnosis to try to have better , level it out to have control of it is not 100% helpful effective to be seen as a cure or anything.